Horse Problems

We love throwing problems towards our characters, don't we?  We all complain, "Our poor hero - all these things have happened to him/her.  Maybe I should go add a few more..."

Well, look no further!  I have a list of a few more problems you can give them, and they all center around horses (because I'm a horse person, if you didn't know that already).

As the average horse person knows, things with horses don't always go as expected.  As writers, we can use this to our advantage...

Scene

Your MC needs to ride to the rescue, or bring some important news, or even just happily ride off into the sunset.

Let's go ruin that moment, shall we?

Option 1

The poor character (hereafter dubbed PC) grabs the nearest horse and swings into the saddle to go dashing off...only to discover the horse is extremely lazy and only offers a half-hearted jog.  Despite lots of kicking and shouting and slapping from the PC, the horse makes little effort to go faster.

Option 2

The PC has started their epic gallop...only to discover they should have checked their girth before swinging so dashingly into the saddle.  Now, as they streak across the plain, the saddle begins to slide to the left...and slide a little more...a little more....

Option 3

After a few steps, the horse begins limping badly.  They may be missing a shoe.  Maybe their toes are long and they need a trim.  Perhaps they are sensitive to the rocky ground.  In any case, this horse is in pain, and should not have been picked for this important ride.

Option 4

This horse is not trained, and really has no clue what the PC is asking of them.  They may attempt to buck their rider off, or just stand stock still in confusion.  They may go alright, but stop?  No....  Turn?  No....

Scene

Your MC is attempting to show off - maybe to their love interest, someone they look up to (like their mentor), or just some casual passers by.

Option 1

The horse sees a tasty patch of grass and jerks his head down in an attempt to get a bite.  The rider is jerked forward, almost toppling out of the saddle, and begins a tug-of-war to get his mount's head back up.

Option 2

Nature calls.  The horse decides it needs to use the restroom (which for horses is basically anywhere they feel like it).

Option 3

As the PC puts on a broad smile, attempting to be cool and casual, their horse sees something in the shadows (probably a saber-tooth tiger) and leaps into the air, terrified, and attempts to gallop to safety before being eaten alive.  The PC may or may not be left behind.

Option 4

The PC swings out of the saddle with great horsemanship, ready to confidently strut to said person they are attempting to impress, when the horse sneezes, sending horse boogers all over the clothing of the PC.

Option 5
As they canter along, perfectly in snyc, like the lovely team of horse-and-rider they are, the horse trips over his own feet and staggers forward...

Scene

There's a wild, beautiful horse running free in a field, or maybe kept in a stall, or tied to a hitching post.  No one can ride him.  The PC tiptoes up, a small smile on their face.  "I'm good with horses," they say softly, and prepare to make the horse their own.  The horse will likely snort or rear a few times, but then he'll behave like they have some deep, mysterious connection.  Who knows...give him a week or two and he'll probably know a few tricks.

Option 1
The horse takes off leaping and bucking.  He's never been ridden before, and a human sitting on his back is a lot like some mountain lion up there, trying to eat him.

Option 2
The horse doesn't know what's expected of him, and refuses to move forward.  He doesn't rear, he doesn't buck, just...doesn't move.  He's not stubborn, just confused.  How is he supposed to move around with a human sitting on his back?

Option 3
So maybe the horse doesn't buck that PC right off.  But if they've never been ridden before, how do they know basic horse manners?  Like, stopping, turning, standing for mounting, not kicking other horses behind you, or running over those in front?  That poor horse just doesn't have a clue.  At least, since he's behaving well, the PC can continue to ride him and give him those miles he needs to learn how to behave decently.

Option 4
Before the PC even gets a chance to get close, that wild horse spins around and delivers a powerful kick, sending our hero flying through the air...

 A Non-Comprehensive List of Other Things to Throw at your Poor Character

• Tack problems - maybe a rein gets unclipped, a girth snaps, a bridle breaks.  Trust me, it's not totally unrealistic for something to happen in just the wrong moment...like a rein breaking while you're galloping, or a loose girth to cause the saddle to slip.  If the saddle doesn't fit the horse, it can either slip at the slightest movement, or pinch the horse, possibly causing bucking, biting, or at the least, soreness and a grudge.
• Water.  I know three horses (all are retired show horses, so that might be the cause or just a coincidence) who never drink when out on a trail.  No matter how hot it is or how long the ride, they will not drink until they are back home.  Horses can get dehydrated, too, writers!!  Make sure they're drinking - or not drinking...

• Sometimes horses get along, and sometimes they don't.  My TWH can be best friends with a number of horses...then put him with a certain Haflinger and suddenly there's a fight to the death.  And you can never tell when horses will get along and when they won't.

• Horse are trained differently.  You can get along great with one horse, and then swing onto another and have no idea how to get him to turn, stop, go fast, etc.  Generally, horses are trained to do such things in similar ways, but you're always going to come across that one horse that is totally different.

• Stirrups.  Every person has their own set stirrup length.  It depends on their style of riding and comfort levels.  And when you ride someone else's horse, or jump onto a random horse, the stirrups must be adjusted accordingly, or else....  An old saying goes "If your knees hurt, your stirrups are too short.  If your butt hurts, your stirrups are too long.  If everything hurts, your stirrups are just right."

• Horses move differently.  There are gaited and non-gaited horses, plus draft horses and ponies to think about.  Each horse has their own particular way of moving, usually related to their breed, but also their distinct personality.  They might be smooth, bouncy, fast, slow.  They might mix up their gaits.  They can be clumsy or surefooted.  But, believe me, a rider can tell the different, and if you're used to riding one way, a different way is sure to feel weird, and possibly make for a miserable journey.

Have I missed anything worth nothing?  Have I inspired you to add some more horse antics into your stories?  Or are you now afraid to even ride one yourself?