Is it me, or do a lot of writers introverts (or at least tend towards avoiding social situations)(for whatever reson)? Of course, not every writer is like this. I myself am more along the lines of an extrovert (I actually enjoy going to events and places where there are lots of people).
However, trying something new can often put fear in the hearts of introverts and extroverts. What if we mess up and embarrass ourselves? What if we fail? What if we ruin something? What if we just can't do it?
I personally am a big advocate of doing things that you don't think you can do. The more new situations you come out of, the more confident you will be doing new things.
So today, I have just a few brief pieces of advice...
Just get up and do it.
It sounds so easy, I know. But it's not. It's easier to avoid situations that make you uncomfortable. It's easier to just turn around and walk the other way. It's easier to have someone else do it. It's easier to not change anything.
But we don't grow by doing the same thing all the time.
We grow by doing new things.
After spending the last few years working on doing things I was scared of (talking to people on the phone, riding new horses, ordering food through drive-through's, doing my taxes, and other things I have to do as I become an Adult), I now have a new mentality...
Me:
So there's this thing I'm a little nervous about...
My Brain:
But it's not always easy. It's often downright scary. You can't mess things up. But if you get in the habit of doing them, it eventually won't be as unnerving.
So if you're worried about something, take a deep breath, say a quick prayer, and do it.
Practice and Prepare.
Really, do you want your important story pitch to be the first time you look someone in the eye and tell them about your book? Do you want your first time to pump gas alone to be when your parents are out of town? Do you want your first attempt at sewing to be making a momentous ball gown?
No! You prepare before these things! You practice pitching your book to willing volunteers (friends and family members and even neighbors and church family - anyone who will listen)! You practice pumping gas and buying groceries and paying your taxes on your own, while your family is nearby, ready to help if you need it. You practice sewing with little things first, and eventually work your way up.
We don't always get to prepare before doing something we are afraid of. The phone randomly rings, and we have to answer it. Someone stops us and asks the question, "What is your book about?" But if we have answered these things before (even if it was just practice with a friend), we should be more ready than as if we had never prepared.
Speak Up.
If you are new at something, don't be afraid to openly admit it!! When I first started working, I was always telling customers, "I'm new" "I'm still figuring this out" "I just started." People will understand. As long as you remain polite and calm, they will not might you taking a little longer as you figure things out.
A smile, a small laugh, and a "I've never done this before!" can do a lot. People will understand a few mistakes, and few awkward blunders, if they know you are still learning.
People are always ready to help (sometimes a little too ready, if you know what I mean). All it takes is for someone to say, "I need help, I don't know how to do this," and people are running to the rescue.
There is no shame in asking for help! There is no shame in admitting you are afraid of something. Take a few moments to gather your wits, and then do what you can.
There are things we have to do in life. We have to leave our house. We have to talk to strangers. We have to do things that we would rather not do. But we can't let our fear be an excuse. Let's do this, people!
this is so true...being independent doesn't help either in social situations. For me, figuring out that I need help is the first step sometimes :)
ReplyDeleteCatherine
catherinesrebellingmuse.blogspot.com
And that's the thing...sometimes we need to do things on our own, but other times, we should get a little help. :)
DeleteLove the point of this post! <3
ReplyDeleteIt can be so hard to step out of your comfort zone and admitting you need help sometimes. Thank you for this post!!
I think trying anything new can be scary, but we don't have to do it alone!
DeleteAgreed--I'm still working on this!
ReplyDeleteMe, too! Of course, I don't know if anyone will ever stop doing new things.
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