If The Lord of the Rings was a YA Fantasy Trilogy

If Lord of the Rings was YA fantasy...

Frodo would be a young woman. Miss Frodo would have grown up on Bilbo's tales of dragons and dwarves, and her heart would yearn for adventure...but young Hobbits don't go off on adventures, of course.

Then Gandalf sends her on an adventure with the garden boy, Sam. Sam is not adventurous, nor brave (in Miss Frodo's mind, anyway), and she is soooooo certain she'll spend the whole trip constantly saving his life over and over again.

Of course, by the end of the book, Miss Frodo realizes she was mistaken about sweet Sam, who is just the golden-haired, soft-spoken hero we all need.

If Lord of the Rings was YA fantasy...

Gollum wouldn't be some creepy, half-shriveled creature....Gollum would be an attractive, morally gray young man. Is he helping them destroy the ring, or does he want it for himself? Miss Frodo begins to fall for this fellow (and is sure he's trying to be good), but ol' Sam knows Gollum has no good intentions whatsoever.

If Lord of the Rings was YA fantasy...

Theoden and Eowyn are at odds...King Theoden is preparing to betroth Eowyn off, and she spites him for it. She would much rather be galloping off on her stallion, firing arrows into the...no, wait, that's Brave. Then she falls in love with Aragorn, and dreams of traveling Middle Earth with the ranger....but he obviously has no interest in her. Despite her protests, Theoden betroths her to Denethor's son to strengthen the alliance with Gondor. Horrified, she rides off into battle, disguised as a boy, and then gets wounded while fighting the Witch King. While in the houses of healing, she befriends a handsome warrior, Faramir...turns out that's the man she was betrothed to all along!

If Lord of the Rings was YA fantasy...

Arwen would have her own plot on the side. Maybe she's learning elven magic, like how to see into the future like her father. Everyone is telling her she is foolish for loving a mortal. But she lets no one tell her what to do, and practices her Elven Magic and probably ends up responsible for the death of Saruman or something. Anyways, her plot never intersects with the Real Plot, but just dances along the sidelines to show that our hero's true love isn't some helpless elf maiden but a Strong Independent Woman.

If Lord of the Rings was YA fantasy...

It would be written in First Person. Miss Frodo, Aragorn, Arwen, Eowyn, maybe even Faramir, would all be the POV characters. We might get some chapters with Denethor or Saruman's villainous POV. But gone would be all those long-winded descriptions and archaic language.

If Lord of the Rings was YA fantasy...

Miss Frodo and Sam would be like, around 18 (and let's not get into a discussion here about human ages vs hobbit ages)(I mean "very young adult" here). Aragorn and Eoywn and Faramir would all be 19-21ish. All young and beautiful and full of angst. Arwen would probably be young and na├»ve for an elf, right?

If Lord of the Rings was YA fantasy...

Boromir would probably show up in the third book, like "surprise, I didn't actually die!"

So...would y'all be interested in reading this new and upcoming YA release? (jk) Would LotR be more fun if put into a YA format? Or is it perfect when left untouched? (I would prefer to leave it untouched, but I must say, a YA spoof book would be funny, if also written well.)

Also, should I make a "if *classic book/series* was YA" blog post series?

Sins, Sons, and Siren Songs is OUT

Today is release day, and it just feels WEIRD. Like, okay, another book is out. Moving on with life. For the first book, everything was a First. First Time getting a cover, First Time getting the proof copy, First Time seeing it available to purchase..

But now...oh, yeah. The book is out today. Please buy it. I've got signed copies available. *takes a picture of me with the newly published book* Whee. *goes back to work like normal*

I guess it's sad? Like, hey, today I literally have a book that just came out. And I'll be at the restaurant, talking to the customers, helping the girls, eating tacos (Taco Tuesday!!) just like normal.

I'll tell everyone, of course. They'll be excited and happy for me. Maybe someone will buy the book. I'll bring extra business cards, just in case they need to find the website.

But you, blog readers, together we have the power to change the world. 

How? BUY THE BOOK. NOW. TODAY. (while supplies last)

I may even slip a bookmark or two into the package, as an added bonus. 

Signed paperbacks HERE / ebooks available HERE