If Lord of the Rings was YA fantasy...
Frodo would be a young woman. Miss Frodo would have grown up on Bilbo's tales of dragons and dwarves, and her heart would yearn for adventure...but young Hobbits don't go off on adventures, of course.
Then Gandalf sends her on an adventure with the garden boy, Sam. Sam is not adventurous, nor brave (in Miss Frodo's mind, anyway), and she is soooooo certain she'll spend the whole trip constantly saving his life over and over again.
Of course, by the end of the book, Miss Frodo realizes she was mistaken about sweet Sam, who is just the golden-haired, soft-spoken hero we all need.
If Lord of the Rings was YA fantasy...
Gollum wouldn't be some creepy, half-shriveled creature....Gollum would be an attractive, morally gray young man. Is he helping them destroy the ring, or does he want it for himself? Miss Frodo begins to fall for this fellow (and is sure he's trying to be good), but ol' Sam knows Gollum has no good intentions whatsoever.
If Lord of the Rings was YA fantasy...
Theoden and Eowyn are at odds...King Theoden is preparing to betroth Eowyn off, and she spites him for it. She would much rather be galloping off on her stallion, firing arrows into the...no, wait, that's Brave. Then she falls in love with Aragorn, and dreams of traveling Middle Earth with the ranger....but he obviously has no interest in her. Despite her protests, Theoden betroths her to Denethor's son to strengthen the alliance with Gondor. Horrified, she rides off into battle, disguised as a boy, and then gets wounded while fighting the Witch King. While in the houses of healing, she befriends a handsome warrior, Faramir...turns out that's the man she was betrothed to all along!
If Lord of the Rings was YA fantasy...
Arwen would have her own plot on the side. Maybe she's learning elven magic, like how to see into the future like her father. Everyone is telling her she is foolish for loving a mortal. But she lets no one tell her what to do, and practices her Elven Magic and probably ends up responsible for the death of Saruman or something. Anyways, her plot never intersects with the Real Plot, but just dances along the sidelines to show that our hero's true love isn't some helpless elf maiden but a Strong Independent Woman.
If Lord of the Rings was YA fantasy...
It would be written in First Person. Miss Frodo, Aragorn, Arwen, Eowyn, maybe even Faramir, would all be the POV characters. We might get some chapters with Denethor or Saruman's villainous POV. But gone would be all those long-winded descriptions and archaic language.
If Lord of the Rings was YA fantasy...
Miss Frodo and Sam would be like, around 18 (and let's not get into a discussion here about human ages vs hobbit ages)(I mean "very young adult" here). Aragorn and Eoywn and Faramir would all be 19-21ish. All young and beautiful and full of angst. Arwen would probably be young and naïve for an elf, right?
If Lord of the Rings was YA fantasy...
Boromir would probably show up in the third book, like "surprise, I didn't actually die!"
So...would y'all be interested in reading this new and upcoming YA release? (jk) Would LotR be more fun if put into a YA format? Or is it perfect when left untouched? (I would prefer to leave it untouched, but I must say, a YA spoof book would be funny, if also written well.)
Also, should I make a "if *classic book/series* was YA" blog post series?
Ok, a spoof would be fun, because spoofs are FUN!!LOL, this was so clever. I really liked Gollum's new look ;)
ReplyDeleteMB: thesocialporcupine.come
PB: thegirlwhodoesntexist.com
Imagining Gollum as an attractive man is hilarious! XD
ReplyDeleteThese are all so accurate.
XD XD XD THIS IS PERFECT.
ReplyDeleteBut thank God that's not how Tolkien wrote it.
This is so great! Why is romance the main plot driver/character development in SO MUCH of YA?
ReplyDeleteThis was enjoyable and a good chuckle, if you do more I'll happily read them.
ReplyDeleteha ha. leave it as is, but your imagination is WILD!! Carol Baldwin
ReplyDelete"Why would you do that?" I ask, aghast, as I click on the link to the post in morbid fascination.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, though, this was so well done. Such an adaptation would be AWFUL, but your descriptions were spot-on. It's almost scary. XD
This is hilarious and horrifying at the same time LOL
ReplyDeleteEveryone would be constantly raising their eyebrows because that is the only expression that exists in YA. XD XD
The nine would be a more even mixture of guys to girls so that everyone could be paired up. (I'm thinking Merry becomes Mary and Legolas would be a girl and the friendship with Gimil's would change from friendship to romance.)
If they wanted to be super edgy, Boromir would also be female and would be a grim old captain of the guard who exists as a relationship with Aragorn while he (in full angst mode) tries to forget about Arwen. (But that doesn't have to happen since she would tragically die off so it doesn't really matter)
And Miss Frodo would have a super special skill that makes her the chosen one (Like, she would be able to turn invisible just on her own and enter the shadow realm, but alas! She can be seen by other people in the shadow realm. And GlamGollum would be the first person she's ever met who can also "Shadow Walk")
Yep! Lets just rewrite it and completely erase the themes of the story like Friendship and that even the smallest (IE not magical chosen one) can change the world. Pssh. Who wants to read about that?!
This is such an interesting post idea! I agree with MK, this is both hilarious and horrifying. I mean, I love YA fantasy, but I think I'd prefer to keep LOTR the way Tolkien wrote it.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely sickening, but hilarious too.... XD PLEASE do a series of these posts!!
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