Comments I Could Do Without

This idea for this post came to me during NaNo, and I very much enjoyed creating this post.  Hopefully y'all enjoy it as well!

"What's your book about?"
I'm sorry, my brain just died.

"Can I speak to the manager?"

I am the manager, fear me.

"Why is your car named The Falcon?"
I take it you've never seen Star Wars...

"How come your horses are so dirty?"

Because they roll in the mud and sleep a lot.  Lazy beasts.

"Is the electric fence on?"
Touch it and find out, because I'm not going to.

"Why is the check engine light on?"

Rule One: The Falcon lies.

"Is your car supposed to make that sound?"
Technically no, but the Falcon is very much the little TrailBlazer that cried wolf, hence Rule One.

"Do you want to go for a run tonight?"

Haha, do I look like I want to?

"How many miles are you planning to run tonight?"
I'm going to see how far I can get before I die - to the end of the parking lot and back to the car, basically.

"Are you really gonna wear that?"

No, I just showed up wearing this outfit to surprise you.  I'm heading back to change now...

"You signed up for a race.  Are you going to train?"
Um, nope.

"How are you running this race?  You haven't even been training?"

I run off adrenaline, sugar, and regret.

"Are you published yet?"
While you're at it, why don't you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it?

"Why do you carry a gun?  What are you sacred of?"

Nothing.

"Can I gallop your horse?"
Spoken by someone who's never been on the back of a horse until I offered to lead them around on one of mine.

"Have you finished your book?"

"This is just a ravine!  Do you really go sledding here?"
Spoken by someone prior to spending six weeks in a full body cast.

"Why so many knives?"

 

"Did you forget your saddle or are you really planning to do this long and fast ride bareback?"
Um, looks like I am now.

"Did you remember to grab your lunch when you left home?"

There was lunch??

"Did you remember to grab your car keys before you locked the door?"
Ha, yes I did, they're in my...oh, no, they're not.

"Did you remember to grab your shoes before you left the house?"

Shoes are overrated.  Socks only is the new norm.

"What else did you forget?"

"Really?"

 

"Can you stop playing that same song over and over?"

Look, I gotta learn it somehow, and playing it until I can seems to work best.  From now on, I'll try just learning a new song in one go.

 

"You know Tolkien wrote another book after The Lord of the Rings?  The Sil...the Silma-something-or-other?"

*whips The Silmarillion out of my purse*  You mean this one?

 

"Do you ride English or Western?"

Um, neither...

 

"So what do you do with your horses?"

Feed them, mostly.

 

"Is this post over yet?"

Yes, it is.  You may continue on with your day now.