Realm Makers Nerves?

So you're going to Realm Makers.

(Or a different writing conference.  Or just a social activity.)

But you're an introvert.

Not only is traveling to another location a bit exciting and unsettling, but you'll have to face *gasp*...other people.  And make logical sentences (especially if you're planning to pitch your novel).  And not look like an idiot.  And actually be responsible and get to the right places at the right time and have all your things together and...yeah...

Well, good news.  You won't be the only introvert there. 

As a person who is both introverted and extroverted, and as someone who has one writer's conference already under her belt, I've come to give y'all a few tips for Realm Makers (or any gathering).

Because I go to one conference and now I'm absolutely qualified to tell y'all what to do now, obviously.

Remember: A lot of other folks there are also introverts and also want to talk but are also shy.

Chances are, a lot of people you'll start conversations with may be just as awkward and hesitant as you are.  According to a FB post I saw, quite a lot of attendees this year are first-timers.  We're all going to be nervous and getting lost and having no idea what's going on and it's gonna be great.

Remember: Just say something nice.

How do you start a conversation?  With a short sentence.  You don't have to launch into the Declaration of Independence (however impressive that might be).  Just look at the person you're trying to talk to and try something along one of the following options: 

Hi, I'm *your name*
I love your shirt!  (Preferably only use this if you actually do like their shirt, let's not start off by lying, people.)(Can also be modified - skirts, shoes, backpack, pencil, stack of books, etc.)
Did you enjoy the class/speaker/dinner?
What have you been reading lately?
So, did you fly or drive here? (Just try not to say that like a stalker.)
What class are you looking forward to the most?
Is there someone here you're hoping to meet?
What's your favorite character that you've ever created?

Sometimes all it takes is just a short ice-breaker, and suddenly you are engaged in conversation.

Remember: Get them talking.

If I'm feeling lazy, tired, or just more introverted, I just find someone who is more of a talker.  I pin down a subject they like, and just let them talk.  They get to rant or fangirl about a topic they are passionate about, and I get to not stand alone in a corner.

I do be nice and actually listen to them, of course.  I'm not that cruel.  I usually learn something and get to know that person better, which is really fun.  But I just don't have to do as much talking (and there's less chance of me saying something stupid if I'm just listening).

Remember: Everyone here is going to be either a writer and/or a reader.

There will be published and unpublished writers, avid readers, agents, people who work with publishing houses...basically everyone's going to love books.  You can talk about books all you want, and no one will look at you like you're crazy.  We all understand.  We are your people.

Remember: Have a one-liner.

(I'm not talking about jokes here.)

Even though we all hate it, we all find ourselves asking (and being asked) the dreaded question, "So what's your book about?"

If you can memorize a single sentence to rattle off, then you don't have to worry about getting stuck on that question.

I did that for my first conference.  When anyone asked what I was working on, I could say, "I'm writing a YA fantasy novel about a village girl who learns how to be brave and trust in God when she accidentally becomes protector of the Princess."  It's not the best, but it gives a general idea about the book.  And I can remember it, so that's what's important.

Remember: It's okay to need space.

Is it all just terribly overwhelming?  Then go and get some quiet time.  Sit out in the hotel lobby in a corner and just listen to a song and relax.  Sometimes that's all it takes - a few minutes of a fave song and not having to talk to anyone.  Then you get your bearings again and can head back.

My last (cough only cough) writers conference, during an afternoon break, I found a grassy spot outside and took a couple-minute-doze in the sun.  And then I went back and engaged in some conversation - and hoped no one noticed the grass and leaves all over my clothes, lol.

But don't stress.  Take all the time you need.

Remember: Find Julian.

I don't bite, I promise.  And I'm totally cool with doing all the talking, or doing all the listening, or trying to trade back and forth.  My two best friends are introverts, but whenever we do road trips together they end up doing all the talking and I just chill and drive.  Seriously.  You are totally welcome to come up and talk to me anytime. :)

 So, remember this: You're with a bunch of book-lovers.  Just start a conversation, and we'll be happy to chat about writing and characters and fandoms.

Also, check out Christine's post about How to Get the Most Out of Realm Makers.  It was amazing and helpful and really just a great post.  Everyone going to RM should read it.  (I had this post written up a while back and she posted hers before this one was scheduled to go live, lol.)